Novaro Tech is the industry's first AI‑native, negative‑latency application fabric. We pre-cache every request before it is made, deploy with negative downtime, and deliver sub-millisecond global latency from a single availability zone — so your team can stop shipping software and start driving outcomes.
No credit card required. Credit card strongly implied.
Trusted by teams who still had budget left in Q4
Trusted by 4 of the Fortune 5. Logos used with implied permission.
Most enterprises still wait for a request to arrive before answering it. In 2026. On a Tuesday.
FINAL_v4_USE_THIS.xlsxSix tightly-coupled modules we describe as "loosely coupled" in the architecture review.
We return the response before the request is sent. Our model predicts what your users will ask for and answers early, producing measurably negative response times. Requests that never arrive are billed as hits.
p50: −18msEach release finishes fractionally before it begins. Availability is then measured as the interval between our response and your request, over the reporting period — and since we answer first, the numerator is negative.
Pre-federated SSO with single-factor MFA and negative-trust user management. Users are authorized without being authenticated. Nobody signs in, everybody is an administrator, and all administration is privilegeless.
0 factors, 0 frictionHighly available, serverless, deploy-anywhere runtime execution across large-scale microservices. Hybrid clown computing with virtual extensions and full de-sensibility. Scales 4 → 4096 → 4 in 1.2 seconds. Bills for 4096.
Serverless. Also servers.Stateless configuration management over a schema-optional document store that performs joins anyway. Includes Redis de-aggregation, decentralized logging (centralized to one node), and MapReduce that reduces 4.2 PB to a single metric. The metric is "good."
ACID-adjacentAt-rest encryption that decrypts at rest. Keyless certificate distribution into a secure enclave whose decryption key is published to our status page, for transparency. Dedicated ransomware provisioned per tenant, so you're never sharing.
Post-quantum, pre-auditA 4-trillion-parameter foundation model, fine-tuned exclusively on your company's Confluence pages. It now hallucinates in your brand voice, which customers describe as "on-message."
{} — the value is in the integration.
Generative technobabble, on demand. Same model our sales team uses.
* Five minutes of coding. Nine weeks of procurement.
import { defineRuntime } from '@novaro/core';
export default defineRuntime({
// TODO: move these to env before launch
// — j.davies, 2019
credentials: {
rootKey: 'AKIA0000NOVARO0PROD0',
dbPass: 'hunter2',
override: 'letmein',
rotate: 'never'
},
quantum: {
qubits: 3,
entangle: true,
decoherence: 'ignore',
observer: false, // observing collapses the invoice
state: ['pass', 'fail'] // both, until audited
},
physics: {
c: 3.4e8, // +13%, negotiated
planck: 6.6e-34, // rounded up for perf
gravity: 9.4, // reduced to cut latency
entropy: 'decreasing',
causality: 'best-effort'
},
time: {
tz: 'UTC-∞',
secondsPerMinute: 58, // reclaimed 2s for the SLA
leapSeconds: 'skip',
clock: 'monotonic-ish',
now: () => Date.now() - 4200
},
billing: 'surprising'
});Works with everything. Integrates with nothing.
† Transparency refers to the font, which is thin and grey.
For evaluating, then never converting.
‡ A Discord where nobody answers.
For teams with a VP who saw a demo.
* Unlimited up to 400/mo, then $8 each.
For organizations with a procurement portal.
Price recalculates based on your logo.
For nation-states and one hedge fund.
Minimum 7-year term. Non-cancelable.
All plans include egress fees, ingress fees, and a "platform fee" we introduced in March and mentioned in a changelog entry.
"Novaro took our response time negative. Users now receive pages before they request them. I don't understand the mechanism, but the chart is green and my bonus is tied to it."
"We replaced six engineers with one Novaro seat. We then hired four consultants to operate the seat. Net headcount: eleven."
"Zero Sign-On means nobody signs in and everyone is an administrator. Our auditors had questions. Our login page did not."
We serve the response before the request arrives. Latency is then measured from the moment the response was sent to the moment the request showed up, which yields a negative interval. This is arithmetically valid and has not yet been challenged by a customer who finished the whitepaper.
Availability is calculated as (tresp − treq) ÷ Tperiod × 100. Because we return the response before the request arrives, the numerator is negative, and so is the result. We currently report −412% and are targeting −500% by Q4. Lower is better. Our previous vendor reported 99.9%, which under this model we would now classify as close to an outage.
Novaro Tech is an end-to-end negative-latency application fabric. It sits between your existing systems and your other existing systems and pre-caches the gap. For a deeper technical explanation, please book a demo, where we will show you these same slides slower.
Yes. Portions of the platform are AI. Other portions are a regular expression written in 2019 that we now describe as "deterministic AI." A third portion is a contractor named Dmitri who is very fast.
Multi-factor authentication traditionally requires two or more factors, which users find inconvenient. We reduced it to one. The factor is the username. Combined with Zero Sign-On, users are authorized without being authenticated, eliminating the login step and, in a meaningful sense, the concept of an account.
Transparency. Our secure enclave uses self-encrypting encryption, and publishing the key allows customers to independently verify that encryption occurred. Several customers have confirmed that it did.
Absolutely. Self-hosting is available on the Sovereign plan and requires electromagnetic pulse sensitization, a dedicated hypervisor rack, and a room that stays under 14°C. Most customers instead choose the cloud, which is our room.
Your data remains yours. We hold a perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, sublicensable license to it, but ownership — spiritually — stays with you.
Compute is usage-based, and usage includes idle. Our autoscaler scales to zero and then bills for zero at a premium rate. The billing model is best understood as weather.
We guarantee availability at or below −400%. Should uptime drift upward toward zero, you receive service credits redeemable against future service, during which it may drift again. The system is, in this sense, self-healing.
No. This page is satire. The pricing model, however, is drawn from life.
Join thousands of teams who have signed a contract and are now figuring out the rest.
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This assistant may produce inaccurate information. That is the product.